Musings on the Subject of Enjoyment

At a conference this year, a speaker said something that snagged my attention. I tell you, logic classes have forever ruined the relationship between me and absolute statements. I now immediately consider if there is an exception the moment I hear a generalization.

Now, the speaker was trying to make the point that since God made all our longings, they are good, and that He delights with us whenever we delight.

But is that true?

We know that God’s creation was good. Originally.

In the beginning, we had no sinful desires and lusts. However, we are no longer in that perfect state, and our desires, our delights, can be wicked and corrupted.

But now, what about the verse he cited — Romans 12:15? ‘Rejoice with those who rejoice.’

Aha… and here we get to something that has become somewhat of a struggle for Christians in our culture. Should we do that, always? Is this a mandate that means attending the wedding of our gay friend? Or celebrating with your relative who gets a divorce and feels freed? Shouldn’t we rejoice with those people?

Well, let’s take a look at some other important verses in the chapter, for individual verses must be understood in their context. In fact, I encourage you to go read the whole of Romans 12 — it’s not long.

Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 

Romans 12:18  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

‘Don’t conform to the pattern of this world.’ I think that’s a pretty clear statement. ‘Hate what is evil’ — also rather obvious. Depravity, debauchery, and perversion are always evil.

Then we get to ‘If it is possible, as far as it depends on you.’ This is where I can hear the devil’s advocate, in the voice of one worried about offending and upseting acquaintances living in sin, protest and say that it’s most certainly possible to say, go to their wedding, and that to not do so would certainly be disobeying the command to ‘live at peace.’

But you remember that discussion we had on tolerance a while back? Affirming versus loving? Love — if that is what you are truly concerned about — is not equal to affirmation. Loving a child may mean spanking him, instead of affirming him as he draws on the wall, pulls the cat’s tail, or bites his sister.

Enjoyment, pleasure, and rejoicing are not always good. And we are not called to rejoice with those who rejoice wickedly. Indeed, that’s not true joy, now, is it? True joy has its root in the Author of joy, not in corruption and sin. In fact, the Greek word behind ‘rejoice’ has connections to being glad, delighting in, God’s grace. (Source) Not, you’ll notice, in delighting in abominations.

So then, here we have a rebuttal to the speaker’s thesis. I do not believe, and the Bible does not seem to indicate, that God rejoices whenever we take pleasure in something. To draw another analogy from parenting, any sane parent would not be celebrating if their child enjoys kicking his sister or tp-ing the neighbors’ house. The child may derive genuine pleasure — but that does not make it good.

Pleasure is defined in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary as, ‘the gratification of the senses or of the mind; agreeable sensations or emotions; the excitement, relish or happiness produced by enjoyment or the expectation of good; opposed to pain.’

Pleasure is, as this definition and our own experience shows, agreeable to feel. But that does not make it good. Opium dreams are agreeable — but they wreak havoc on one’s health. The sensations and emotions one derives from an act of adultery may make one feel good, but it does not negate the fact that the deed is sin. In fact, I would argue that taking pleasure in acts of sin is sin itself, and I think others would agree with me. Though our culture is quickly losing this, people generally view fetishes and sadism with disgust and hatred. It is something that is wrong, to feel pleasure concerning these twisted things and in these twisted ways.

Enjoyment, thus, is not always good. Neither are our longings, as, being sinful creatures affected by total depravity, it is impossible for us to be perfect, and, in fact, without the Holy Spirit, it is impossible for us to do anything good at all. (In this, I do not mean that God cannot use unbelievers for His purpose, but rather that the unbeliever acts out of pure selfishness, and not out of obedience or love.) Lust after gold, fame, or a woman is, I think, proof enough that our longings have been twisted just like the rest of creation.

So let us return to the topic of rejoicing with those who rejoice, and living peaceably with all. I’d like to draw your attention to the beginning words of Romans 12:18

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

If it is possible.

Living at peace with everyone is impossible. The writer knows this. His book will be for some people, and it will most definitely not be for others. You can’t please everyone. Can one be respectful, courteous, and a light to everyone? Most of the time.

Sometimes, the darkness will find the light much too bright for its tastes. Sometimes, the truth will be offensive. Oh well.

I think the meaning here, of if it is possible, relies on the ‘if,’ because it will not always be possible to be friendly with everybody. In fact, we are not supposed to be friends of the world. If we are indistinguishable from the world, if the lightbulb is not shining in the dark room, something is wrong.

It is also worth nothing the bit about ‘as far as it depends on you.’ Sure, when it comes to small matters, the Christian can selflessly put aside his wants or his preferences for the sake of blessing another. However, there may come a point where, if the Christian is to live at peace with another, he will be required to set aside the truth, and this he cannot do. The truth does not depend on him. It is absolute, outside, and beyond.

I shall also note that living at peace does not necessarily mean agreeing with. There were days when America’s fathers believed and argued for vastly different things — even fought for them, and yet, after the debate was over or the surrender signed, they would go out to a tavern together or shake hands in perfect respect and friendship. The Christian is not supposed to be a jerk to those he disagrees with. The truth he needs to present may be harsh, but if he speaks it in love, the reaction of his hearer is their own problem and not his. If your gay acquaintances take insult that you do not come to their wedding, and in so doing, demonstrate support or at least acceptance of their sinful lifestyle, so be it. To those of a more sensitive nature than myself, I understand it may be hard to stand firm, for you value the feelings of your friends. But as Alexander Hamilton said, ‘Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything.’

So there are exceptions to the speaker’s statement. But I think I understand the heart of what he was getting at. God, after all, is compared to a Father in the Bible, especially One Who gives good gifts. It is right to take appropriate amounts of pleasure in good things — in a sunny day, in a pet’s antics, in a job well done, in a chocolate cake.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17, NIV

When we enjoy, and there is no sin in it, then I am quite sure that the Father delights in His children’s joy, just as any parent swells when their child’s face lights up at the foot of the Christmas tree. Our world was originally good, and not just, I think, because God is a perfect God and does not make mistakes, but because He crafted it for us strange beings of dust and spirit that He inexplicably loves beyond belief.

So, my dear reader, rest in the truth. Watch that you do not take pleasure in gratifying the sinful nature, but do not fear all enjoyment and become an ascetic monk. God created a garden for man to live in, after all, and deriving delight from beauty, relationships, fun, nature, and other things is good, so long as it does not become an idol.

What good gifts has God given you, my friend?

Please drop a comment below. I’d love to engage with you on this topic, or any other from this blog. Have a nice week. Cheers!

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